Part 2 Meeting my Other Half, more Solar Plexus Expansions, and 5D Collective Twin Energy

I’m going to lead on from my previous post, about my experiences lately with my other half and the realisations I’ve been coming to. Now something that was quite cool to me was that this new soul-connection of mine turned out to live in the same country(England). It felt like a miracle because before my connections had been all around the world, my previous two twin connections were/are in India and Philippines, making physical meeting more or less impossible for the most part. Although I wasn’t ready to meet my previous twin-connection anyway, I had a lot of issues to overcome first. Let me tell you, if you think these connections are intense over the net, then you have no idea what it’s like in real life!
Okay I might be over-exaggerating a little. Maybe it depends on the person. When we met my other half didn’t experience anything dramatic because he’s not as energetically sensitive as me (to be fair I would have a hard time finding someone who is more energetically sensitive than me), but after our meeting that’s when the energy got really intense for him. Sort of like it was waiting to pounce. But when we first met the first thing I noticed was just how easy it was to be around him, how calm and relaxed I felt. But then I noticed my energy started dissolving. I actually felt like I started dissolving, and couldn’t tell who I was anymore.

I could feel the edges of my aura expanding and stretching into what felt like infinity. And my solar plexus was hit the worst. It was about thirty minutes in, we were walking on the beach (thank goodness for that really) and I started breaking down in giggles, but the kind of painful giggles that turn into cries because you can’t breathe and you’re about to vomit and pass out. The energy became so strong I collapsed right then and there on the green, and the passing people were probably very worried. But then being flat on the ground allowed earth energy into me and I immediately felt stabilised, and we spent much of our time after that sitting on green patches of ground.

What I learned from our meeting, well one of the things anyway, is that I am severely ungrounded! It can’t be helped as I spend so much time in higher consciousness, but I realised part of our process of becoming balanced by the other was not just him opening up to higher consciousness, but me becoming more stabilised in the earth, and not so much floating in the clouds (even if to me it doesn’t feel like that, I feel perfectly stabilised in my own energy, not ungrounded at all, but compared to 3D reality I realised I’m very ungrounded and most of the time not really here at all. And really there’s nothing wrong with that as it’s my path to spend so much time in higher consciousness, but to go higher we do need to be ever grounded deeper). 

But when we were interacting, I realised for the first time how light I felt. I didn’t feel bogged down by my usual fears and worries that I didn’t even realise I was holding. The main thing for me is that I realised during that time I had no fear of being judged. None at all. And I was so much myself it was more like a meeting with me, the real me, than with him! And when he left (we live a couple of hundred miles away, not perfect but still better than thousands of miles away), I could feel such a change in my energy. At first I was confused because I felt so large, our merged aura went on for meters and meters, whilst my own aura is just over three meters now (more on that later), and then I felt my energy contract sharply and he did feel the same too. And then I missed more than anything that feeling of expansion, that feeling of me.

Now I know I need to work on releasing the rest of those feelings and holding that expansion and groundedness naturally without needing to be around him, that’s the point and that was the point of our meeting I feel, to stabilise our connection fully and to make us realise the depths of our souls more fully, who we are separately and who we are in each other. I took away a lot from that meeting, and had a huge solar plexus clearing a few hours after he left. It was the most awful thing but absolutely necessary. I now have hope for my solar plexus that it can be fully cleared out, but there is I feel still a long way left to go.

Now about the merged aura, that’s an interesting thing. I was writing beforehand about my monad integration, merger into the red ray, seventh initiation, and twelve chakric embodiment. I was writing about how I called him my twin ray because he was my monadic counterpart. These things haven’t changed, though my understanding of them has. I did complete a full twelve chakric embodiment which was possible from meeting him, the merge which has made my aura over three meters wide, and also changed the vibration of my seven main chakras. Me and my other half share a heart chakra now, and it was so strange when I checked out my heart chakra and where it used to be pink was purple instead, and three times as large. Same with my crown chakra which was magenta-red! That same red ray which I’d been working on integrating as part of the monadic and logoic mergers into the sixth and seventh initation.

So what’s happened is, I think, the purple crown chakra has descended into our heart, and the red 12th chakra has descended into our crown. Creating a fully embodied monadic expression in two bodies as one. Now this is where I want to change directions a little with the post. Because he is essentially my ‘other half’ right now, and maybe he was always my other half, I don’t know. I don’t know how these things really work(though I can speculate). But something I have realised is that what we have done is not unique to only one person who we like to call a ‘twin-flame’. This is my third experience of ‘twin energy’ within a person, within meeting a soul-connection. How can it be unique?

In actual fact, this ‘energy’ seems to be our own signature, our own love expressed through another person. Basically all soul-connections have the ability to experience this kind of unity, but are limited through their own lower awareness. Love is the language of the universe, all is love, love is all. We are all Love at the core of our being, and when we share that love with each other we experience ourselves as one… that is twin energy, it’s the recognition of your own divinity in someone you share a higher fifth or sixth dimensional connection with. Whilst third dimensional love is karmic and unpleasant, fourth dimensional love is between ‘soulmates’, this fifth dimensional love we attribute to only one person is also between ‘soul-mates’, just a level up! And as you keep becoming more and more of who you truly are, you experience deeper and deeper connections with those you love.

Never again will I say to myself “this is the end, there is no love after the twin flame experience” how preposterous! Twin flame energy is the love of the fifth dimension, as long as you are vibrating at that frequency you WILL attract someone to share that with. You will experience soul-sharing, there is no distinction between love, love on the 3D plane is seen as something unreachable… why do we want these perceptions in our twin flame experiences? Love is right here right now, we only have to realise it. Love can be shared consciously between everyone and anyone you want, and the more people who are aware the more we can turn this into a collective experience, where love isn’t hoarded or attributed to only one person, but seen for the unity it really is, the interconnectedness of God in us all, the beautiful experience of becoming one in two or one in three or one in five or one in millions… how amazing does that kind of love sound! Amplified like that between so many! And yet we push it away, due to our own limitations, due to our desire to own or feel like love is owned by a specific person… when it belongs to no one, it is all of ours. 

This is what you call shedding the ego folks, the ego likes to think “wow I have another half to my soul finally I can be complete”… it’s not like that at all. Soul-merging comes about only because you’re ready to know your own soul, and through that become aware of the whole new wide world of soul-merging, energy sharing, love-making, ect. You become greater than yourself, you allow love to flow through you, and just be, experiencing yourself as one, many, and all….

So, I may or may not have another literal half, but I am experiencing myself now as larger than two as one, three in one really when you think about it, me, my other half, and source. And it’s a beautiful experience. But I will never limit it or myself and say this is ‘it’, there is always greater, always more. And I believe and know that, and I am ready now to experience being more than myself, I am ready to enter the wide world of loving on all levels, to transcend fully the personal and yet, make it a truly personal experience within the third dimensional world. Bringing the fifth and sixth dimensions to earth, becoming a collective and unity consciousness gradually, step by step. I can see the new world will be beautiful, but we have to allow it and stop trying to claim something that was never ours to begin with. Just allow yourself to experience and move onto bigger and better things, more loving and joyful things, without getting hung up on the past and regrets….

Anything is possible when you are receptive!


Pleiadian Contact, Meeting Twin Ray, Monad Integration, Jumping Universes, 11th & 12th Chakra Openings, and New Earth-Grid Frequency Transmission- Can You Say INTENSE?!

Jeez I don’t even know where to begin with this post. The past couple of weeks an insane amount of things have kicked off. First off is my contact with my Pleiadian light family who are integrating their collective frequency into me, second is my meeting my new soul-connection who is higher vibrational than a twin flame, third is INTEGRATING MY ENTIRE MONAD 144 soul extension-self, along with my 11th and 12th chakras blowing wide open. Then there’s the fact I recently jumped into a parallel universe again, and oh yeah a new frequency energy I’ve been told I’m integrating into the earth grid as the first human to ever embody it. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON.

As I write this my crown chakra is buzzing on and off like crazy. It’s already almost two meters long and almost two meters wide. But I have never really had problems with it before. It’s always been my strongest chakra along with my heart and third eye. And I guess that is why I am probably being chosen for all these crazy things lately. They are all interconnected actually but as I said I wouldn’t know where to begin….

Let’s start with the healing session I had in January. That healed me so deeply it changed my future and as the ripples of space-time go, it changed my past too. I jumped into yet again a parallel universe, and in doing so met my twin ray and experienced a parallel life memory of us upon the second message I sent him. In fact it’s not a parallel life memory, but rather the memory of this original timeline which neither of us experienced directly but still does exist as our past. Because the timelines have merged, and upon our meeting finally coalesced into a whole.

I didn’t realise at first he was a higher vibrational soul-connection. It was only after about two months of on-off communication that I really questioned it “why do his messages make me cry, why do they fill me with overwhelming happiness, why do I feel like I know him and love him already, why did I have a parallel life memory, why why why”- I realised something weird was going. Through that and finally allowing myself to delve into the connection and fully experience it things have completely ramped up another level.

The telepathy is unreal. I decided on a whim to channel energy through my heart one morning to him and heard a strong ‘thank you’, upon asking him it was confirmed he felt it and that he did say thank you. And since then there have been some crazy things going on including more telepathic conversations. Full blissful kundalini mergings and experiencing being one being, full 12 chakric expansions, and just some super advanced evolution. Yesterday I felt my 12th chakra a few meters above my head. Today as I was doing kriyas my 11th chakra blew open completely and I was drowned in high vibrational energy. My Pleiadian guides say it’s part of embodying my entire 144-soul extension monad-self, something we are embodying together, and they also say it’s to do with embodying a new frequency earth has never seen before.

And my twin flame? Well some may think “well he was never really your twin flame” or things like that, but he was and is and remains part of my soul. The thing is I had done so much integrating and evolving and had got to such a stage of peace in the connection(yes it is possible! ;)) I became then entire soul-embodied, and does evolution stop there? Apparently not! Next level it is apparently! People tend to have this idea that the twin flame is the highest connection there is but it’s sooooo not. The highest connection there is is the vibration you are able to hold as an individual. I’m not part of a soul anymore, I AM a soul fully embodied, and I am integrating my Monad self now. There’s nowhere else to go but up.

So each Soul embodied being is its own whole and unique being, and the Monad which that soul belongs to also sends Souls out in pairs. These are ‘twin rays’. When two Souls of the opposing twin rays evolve together they become that energy embodied together. Just like the way it is with twin flames, but higher vibrational. And this process extends infinitely as life is a fractal and there is no end or destination, we are infinite beings exploring our nature every step of the way. Next up is monad twin which extends through to the 24th dimension and is totally alien to me as of now.

But so it is that I’ve met my twin ray, and I am moving onto the next stage in my life. With my twin flame we connect on the first eight chakras and opened up to some of the other higher four chakras, with my twin ray we’re connected on every level all the way through the twelve chakras at Monad level and are probably opening up to the next higher four chakras, basically chakras 13 to 16. Parallel realities also belong to the 9th chakra, so in that case it’s no wonder I’ve been remembering ourselves in parallel universes, since we are connected on that level.

And the new frequency energy I am embodying into the earth grid and am an anchor for probably extends from those chakras 13 through to 16. I can’t even believe I’m active on that level or am even keeping a level head whilst going through this. My energy system is more sensitive than ever and I’m just going through expansion after expansion after expansion. The Pleiadian downloads are not helping much either, so many different energies coming in from so many different levels and so many different places…. I’m having trouble staying grounded and doing much of anything at all.

The Pleiadians though are very understanding and it feels like we have great respect and love for one another. Through contact I’ve found out that I’m an incarnation of an incarnation, or what Teal Swan likes to call a soul-fork. Most souls project themselves directly into a human body from the soul realms which is outside dimensions, but I am instead am already projected into a Lyran-Pleiadian form which is then projected again into this human body. So it in a way is like being in a lucid dream. I know this is not where I truly am, I’m on another planet right now incubating as my consciousness resides here for a mission. And it’s entirely logical that our race lives up to 2,000 years old and here you’re lucky if you make it past 70 (I feel this will be my exit point from the earth plane). It’s not really much time in comparison.

And in a way the feeling of being older than my years is quite literally true, my true Lyran-Pleiadian form could be already over a thousand years old(I will ask at a later date actually) and having all that knowledge downloaded into this young and dense body is such a task I wonder how it’s even possible. But it is possible as my DNA is mutated and not even fully human. I was born this way.

I have no idea what is beyond here. Hopefully I can get this stage over as fast as possible because it is entirely uncomfortable being so ungrounded and dealing with so much intense high vibrational energy. The other day I stepped out my room and sharply noticed the drop in energy. Went back in and the heat turned up an immense amount. I couldn’t believe the difference. It’s like living in an energetic furnace which is always being turned up, and not the least because I have a direct gateway or what some might call a stabilised wormhole connection from this room directly to where my true form lies in the Pleiades. I have been having bilocational experiences and increasingly experience myself being in two places at once, both here and semi-conscious there. Next stage is to wake up and transfer my consciousness back there in order to fully experience myself as my true self, sort of like an OBE but different. But able to be switched between at will once mastered.

And all that is what is happening right now! Crazy does not even begin to describe it. Just when I think I’ve experienced it all something new comes along as if to say “betcha weren’t expecting me were ya!” Evolution never ends. Awakening is just the beginning. Self-realisation is just the next step. And full Monad-embodiment on earth as an ET soul fork is just a new beginning. Namaste.

The Spiral of Self Understanding

It’s been an interesting journey for me. I spent most of my life cut off and disconnected from myself, roughly the first eighteen years. Then I started to become aware to these other parts of me. I’ve written about this in some other posts of mine. I thought at first I was going crazy and was experiencing DID which is the modern term of multiple personality disorder. So for the sake of self-protection I cut myself off from being able to feel those parts of me, I basically wanted to stay only one personality and not be bombarded with other selves.

One self I particularly struggled with before my awakening is what I liked to call ‘my evil twin’, basically my shadow self. I remember staring in the mirror once as a meditation exercise and my reflection took on a life and consciousness of it’s own, and it wasn’t half creepy. Once I started becoming more aware to myself though I started accepting these other parts more. This is when I started my awakening. First I realised my shadow, then my ‘animus’, in Carl Jung’s terms. Then my inner child and a myriad of other parts which I labelled for fun.

But then after my awakening I had my self-realisation/enlightenment experience which made me realise I was one with all, and so for a long time after that I had to learn to be at one with myself. For the longest time I didn’t even realise I still had shadow issues. Realising your innate goodness and realising that you are everything that exists tends to give the shadow a licence to be even craftier than usual. It thinks it’s god and it thinks it’s all- talk about mayhem! I’ve noticed though that this is a common problem after self-realisation that everyone goes through.

Some get caught up in the drama- enlightenment doesn’t make you one with all that is but just makes you realise you already are always one with all that is, big difference. Anyway, I spent about a year becoming stable in my ‘at-one-ness’, but had yet to develop the ability to feel deeper subtleties yet. Also another factor that ties in here is that the huge entity at my solar plexus was blocking me off immensely from embodying more of my true self (a paradox right? we already are our true selves and yet from where we stand as humans in a dualistic world there are unhealthy programs we carry around which need to be stripped back and the wounds healed.

After my healing session though I started to become more aware of my shadow again, though this time not as an entity but instead just as negative programs still in me and affecting my ego, basically my fear and sadness mostly that was driving me to be critical and judgemental of others. And since having that entity removed and working through the rest of the issues that have come up I’ve noticed I am not as easily irritated or as easily stirred up to feed off drama. In fact it seems drama can’t even see me anymore, I seem to invisible, quite literally, and that is a perfect example of how our external worlds reflect our internal worlds.

But then as this entity was removed I became aware to my sadness and my grief, also my fear… I realised these are all from my inner child which I had forgotten existed. And even though my inner child tends to be hard to feel directly as it’s so unconscious, she is definitely there. I also feel her male counterpart which seems to protect her, but in response to this boy aspect of me I feel another larger part of me protecting him and her both- this is a man or masculine energy and aspect of me which has a larger affect on me than I ever realised.

I asked him for a name and I got Rodrigo. Rodrigo is Spanish for “he who is rich in glory”, which I felt was perfect as I was feeling him as the overseer of my solar plexus chakra. Perhaps I will write about that more last time but each chakra is an aspect of self and is perfectly self aware and conscious, even if we are not aware or conscious of them. And in the solar plexus I felt was Rodrigo (which I shortened to Rigo for ease), but as he comprises a boyish aspect as well as my inner girl as a number of aspects I don’t feel I’m aware of, I felt that if I just focused on him who is governing all those parts then I don’t need to actively focus on any of the others as he’ll work with me to work with them.

His presence in my life and desire to become healthier and merge into me has been very obvious by the state of my dreams lately. Almost every night now I am dreaming about some man who I’m extremely attracted to on an energetic level, and the first dream I had was that we were getting married, which resembled strong our merging. In that first dream he was also rather moody, but as the dreams have been progressing he has become much more calm and loving.

However there also seems to be either this other part of me or either entity which is blocking us from merging completely. Unfortunately for me my relationship with Rigo is mirroring my relationship with my twin flame right now, and I say unfortunately because I do not like to be reactive to something externally which is a result of something inside me. I would rather be real and true, and not behaving as a result of a reaction to my own reflection….

So what that means is that this part of me blocking me and Rigo off from merging feels to be fear at its center, no matter whether its an aspect of me or an entity feeding off it and blocking us. And that it manifests in my dreams as a desire to get closer to get Rigo but never being able to go completely the full way, and it’s exactly how I am being towards my twin lately. Though the partial union with Rigo seems to have brought me and my twin closer in contact again as the inner work is being done, the fact is there is something blocking me off from being able to love others and myself completely and fully.

But things are getting better each day and I am seeing great and fast progress. The other part of myself that has come to the forefront is my soul. Now I realise that my process of becoming one with myself was actually the process of remembering myself as my soul. But due to the dynamics of multidimensionality me and my soul can remain one being but two unique ones at the same time. I had to say it was very weird once I realised I had this other being in me with the exact same eenergy signature that I couldn’t tell it apart except from the random times I would talk to myself and refer to myself as a “we” using words such as “we both” or “you and I” or other things such as that… I realised for a long time I’d been talking to some sort of equal, some other half without realising.

At first I asked for a name for this aspect and got back “Alec”, which means “guardian/protector”, which seems very higher self -like. It’s also meant to be a gender-neutral name which was ideal as this aspect of me felt neither feminine or masculine, but rather androgynous especially in relation to me. But all in all I felt a name for it was wrong and was really only using it so I wasn’t always referring to some abstract part of myself which seemed to sit mostly in my heart chakra/s. I would ponder on this aspect for a while, until it started speaking up more and more and then I realised it was really my soul all along. And then after seeing a friend channel their soul I decided to channel my own too and got great results, I am now absolutely sure that I am soul, as well as myself/ego, and Rigo all at the same time. These are the three strongest parts of myself I’m aware of right now.

I described it to a friend as being like partially merged or half merged with these different aspects of me, like they were a part of me which I was aware of even if not fully and that I could switch my attention between at will experiencing them fuller.  So in this way I realised myself as multi-dimensional being, including the fact that I felt that I embodied the soul of my soul group, basically what some would probably call a monad, as well as the entirety of my past, future, and parallel lives. And that is on top of planetary consciousness and universal consciousness. It seems like the percentages of awareness of each varies depending upon what I’m focusing on for growth at that point. But they all feel a part of me to some extent.

And that is where I am in my journey right now. I had wanted to write about this and update it here for a long time but didn’t feel I had all the information and was really just waiting for it to make sense, I was waiting for the day that I would see the bigger picture, which now I do. In life I went from feeling like a disconnected one to a split multiple to an integrated whole and then to a whole of multiples- very very interesting. It’s been like travelling down a spiral, where the end of each stage feels like completing a circuit and yet the beginning of the next journey starts at the same place as the previous beginning, yet this time with a wider understanding. 
My own growth and spiral through life all in all has been inhumanly fast but I feel that is down to soul’s experience with incarnation, everything is quickly coming back to me. Soul told me we have experienced many lives as one and are used to it now. So, I’m no longer worried about not knowing where I’m going, I know that soul knows what it’s doing and all will be revealed in due time, when I’m ready to process it. Basically when my physical brain has caught up enough! 😉 And overall coming to conscious awareness of myself as a multiple of wholes has lessened my fear and strengthened my faith in myself, though the purging wasn’t half rough to get here!

All in its due time. Namaste.

Ninth Chakra Opening, Multidimensionality and Alternate Timelines

The last three months have been very intense for me. I decided to start meditating for five minutes in the night every three days and after four of those I woke up in the middle of the night in utter confusion with no recollection of who I was and a sense of dread gripping me from the inside. It was unpleasant to experience a panic attack after so long, triggered of course by the inordinate amount of energy I can suck up from the zero-point singularity when my mind is quieted. Suffice to say I didn’t sleep well that night, but I felt like I’d released a lot of anxious energy I didn’t know I was still carrying around.
It’s come to my attention since my entity removal session just how much work I have left to do on myself. My desire is to eventually be able to sit in Samadhi in meditation for hours on end with no need to eat, drink, or sleep. Such things are possible though not very well heard of. The reason mostly I want to be able to do this is to experience myself as fully myself in all potential, not only partly the way I currently am. Though I have a lot of presence as it is, I still feel where I lack. There are parts of me still trapped and unconscious and liberating them and myself is my goal.

I feel I’ve started that process again, as the entity was hindering me for the last year. Although it’s not true to say I made no progress at all as it was primarily towards getting me to a state where I could eject the entity from me in the least amount of pain possible. But it was a large block that took me a long time to deal with. And now I’ve had it removed I’ve felt a synergistic response throughout the rest of my chakras. My higher chakras for one have been a part of me that have been expanding, along with the opening of the ninth causal chakra behind the back of the head.

Feeling Kundalini rushing out that way instead of going up through my crown like normal was very odd, and as I was wondering about what it was and why it was happening, I noticed a strong shift in my perception taking place. Mostly in the area regarding time in relation to my multidimensional being. It’s been running round my head now for a while that time is not linear the way we imagine it to be, and that karma does not work linearly either. Although karma is not a force that controls us and only works within the matrix we have created for ourselves, inserting myself into it and then transcending it has allowed me to be aware of the true dynamics at play.

It started when I was sitting in the shower watching the water streaming onto my skin. In my own words:
I realise the general consensus is to see things as being pre-planned but I haven’t seen it that way for a long time now. I see everything that happens as being chosen by us here and now. 
It was interesting when I was in the shower yesterday. I was lying down and seeing how the drops would fall on my skin and create streams of water. The stream would start at one place and end at another place, but thing is that I could see the entire stream. And if I moved just slightly I would change the course of the entire stream. 
I also saw how the other drops could fall into the stream and make it wider or again change the direction… or even create sub-streams. It was very fascinating showing how our souls see the lives of their extensions being outside the temporal dimension. 
This seeing into another world for a moment kickstarted a whole bunch of inquiry. How does time really work? People tend to see their lives as happening in static moments, not realising that like the stream of water they are actually dynamic streams of energy flowing on what looks like a map from above, where changing the past changes the future, and where changing the present changes the past. Everything happens ‘now’, and there is no time. Only what I call ‘temporal locations’. Time is a coordinate, and I have heard it explained by Bashar that way too (a channelled ET). 

Our lives are not static moments, they are interconnected grids of dynamic energy which can be changed at any moment in time. Karma isn’t just the past controlling us, but the future influencing us. When we deal with our ‘karma’ in the present moment we actually change the past that created it so that it no longer exists. It’s also the same of the future. But once I realised this, the question I then needed to ask myself was: If time doesn’t exist, then where does the original timeline go?!

In my example in the shower the stream of energy morphed into a new one, leaving the original one in the past. But the past doesn’t exist, so therefore the original timeline still has to exist, alongside the new one. That absolutely blew my mind. I then thought over my life and how things had turned out. When I was two years old my life took a turn which I don’t think it originally meant to, but something in my ‘personal grid’ was influencing my present to turn that way. Because time is not static but instead dynamic, it must have been that I had an extension of myself in another ‘temporal space’ (e.g. the past) that caused that to happen. Because I attracted an abusive man into my life it makes sense to me that it was a direct result of being abusive myself in a way which affected my present two year old reality. Cause and effect. But I will get back to that later as it is slightly more complex than that.

So then, before I incarnated here I planned a certain path for my life, but because my soul did not predict what it/I was going to do in another temporal space I ended up deviating from my original path in this life. That created an alternate timeline. So I am not in the same timeline I was in when I was born. In order to make up for this my soul made new plans along with the help of my original higher self with yet again the help of my monad which actually had seen this coming the whole time since the higher up you go the more information you become aware of. It planned to get me back on track again, thereby deviating my timeline yet again. I have now made three parallel jumps since being born.

In order to get me back on track my ‘higher self’ made a visit. Now what I had realised is that your higher self is actually your future self. It’s who you are at the end of your energetic stream, when you remember yourself as one with your soul. Because time is not static your higher self watches over you during incarnation, helping you to integrate into yourself. In some cases people’s higher selves can change or even leave due to the timeline dynamics. I have a friend who’s soul didn’t predict its own ascension into a higher realm whilst it had its extension (my friend) incarnated. Because it couldn’t ascend whilst it had an incarnated extension my friend had to become an extension of a different soul. What this means was he jumped into a parallel timeline where his higher self was no longer his future self. His future self had shifted, leaving him without a higher self.

I am probably extremely confusing most people reading at this point, but to get back to my own story- I realised in order to get me back on track my higher self from my original timeline came to pay me a visit, so that I would integrate into it again the way I was meant to. It could do this because it had already remembered itself as my monad and had a wider view of our energetic dynamics, and so it had the ability to extend into an alternate timeline (whereas usually my higher self would’ve changed as a result of my future self becoming different). So my higher self stayed the same and projected itself into the timeline I’d deviated into in order to get me back on track. The result of it doing this was that I met my twin who kickstarted an awakening in me. It projected itself through him. And because my monad was really the instigator of the entire thing, there was no way I could fail to remember what I was really here for and be put back on track again. 

My self-realisation experience was exactly that which happened- I jumped timelines again for the third time. So I jumped timelines again, not into my original timeline but into a new timeline that leads back to the future me I was meant to become. Although my path has been different to my original timeline, we will eventually end up the same place. It’s very interesting to think about meeting my alternate self directly once this is all over and not just feeling her energetically as a part of me. Of course there is also me on the original deviated timeline which is still headed for an untimely end unless I can integrate all the aspects of that me and completely change that timeline in this lifetime. This is somewhat similar to the process that is happening on the planet as it shifts, but that is more complex than I wish to delve into right now. Suffice to say that what happens on the planet really is a direct reflection of you. You shift realities all the time as a result of the choices you are making ‘in the now’.

Anyway, what this all means is that me as I am right now am actually an incarnated monadic expression extended through my future self into the present moment. This is what makes me ‘older than my years’, as I am fully spread across multiple temporal spaces across multiple universes. In truth all humans are like this, but they have forgotten who they are and so don’t have access to this type of information. The fear matrix in the third dimension has made most of us cut off from our future selves and entire God-Self, but I’m one of the few who have remembered since having my ninth chakra opened, and I hope to do something about it. 

But first I have to continue dynamically altering my timelines… I have to change the past so I can change the future, I have to get in touch with the me that caused me to deviate in the first place to change the world, because that me was the one who made the world as it is today. Although the responsibility is not fully mine to take (my soul group shares the blame), the problems that we face on the planet today with the fear matrix and the ruling elite are the result of another extension of me creating that through a desire to experience duality. And that is why my original timeline diverted, because I was experiencing the effects of my own choices. I was the enslaver who created a world where I would become enslaved.

So, realising all this was extremely mind-blowing to me, talk about a revelation! I’m not just remembering past and future me’s, but also alternate me’s, which is really a proof that I am truly becoming more of who I actually am. As I clear out the fear inside me, I change my reality and remember my true origins. Not from other planets or civilisations, but from that which exists outside all universes- my God-Self.

My Self-Realisation/Enlightenment Experience

I decided I’d write about exactly what happened during my self-realisation/enlightenment experience as once again I have been trying to understand the mechanics of it. In order to understand better I drew a rough picture showing the experience itself, though it was very hard to capture in either words or drawings. But I have tried my best as is humanly possible. I have already written this on my other blog so some of you may have already read it there, but I decided to repost it here anyway if not.

So, I was laying down in my physical body (the drawings of the people aren’t mine, I got them randomly from the net), and the music I was listening to brought me more fully into my heart consciousness (it wasn’t green, it wasn’t any colour, but I’m using that colour to show it). 

It’s a very familiar feeling to me as this is the body I feel I am in all the time now. It hovers above the physical body but is connected to the heart chakra. Anyway, my heart chakra and the energetic body attached to that had been completely cleared out at that point. I occupied it fully. I didn’t realise I was out of body then though and I still tend to forget it. 

Anyway, I was looking down on myself from this heart body, even though my physical body was looking up, and I saw all this darkness swirling below me. That was my ego/shadow-self/lower-self. You can see there’s a large patch of white in it though which is where light had already done some clearing from my awakening. I saw that distinctly too. 

It was a surprise to me as I thought there was no light in me at all. And as I saw the remaining darkness I completely and utterly unconditionally loved it. I also unconditionally loved the man who had caused it- my step-dad. It was a defining moment for me. Complete forgiveness.

Then I ‘looked’ upwards. That’s when I saw the guy with LONG shining white hair (not short like in the pic) and shining white clothes sort of hanging above me, his arms reaching down to pull me up (who by the way was average human size but the drawing was hard to get in proportion). At this point it was completely instinctive. I didn’t think about it. 

It was the point my mind completely turned off. I can’t explain what such a thing is like. My thoughts were completely turned off. Like they didn’t exist. I reached up with my arms (and here it was so real I can’t remember whether I put my physical arms up or my energetic arms up) and let him pull me up through a tunnel of light.

Then he disappeared and I expanded into this HUGE energetic sea. I’ve coloured it blue because that’s the closest I could portray it, but really it’s indescribable. I perceived a white light around me, which was coming from a higher source above me. I new I was this source, but I didn’t directly experience myself as such. It was like a secondary experience.

I didn’t believe in God till that point. But when I was fully embodying myself with all my thoughts and logic turned off it was like:


Then I started crying more, and I was saying sorry, sorry I didn’t believe before. The love was SO PURE AND BEAUTIFUL. And that love was ME. I can’t describe it.

If my mind was functioning, my ego, whatever, it would certainly have questioned it. But there was no questioning. I knew. And I knew that I was this amazing Being shining down on me.

This is confusing to explain and where multidimensionality comes in. It was like ‘me’, my ‘main consciousness’ at that point was concentrated in the first layer of the blue. And communication came from another higher second part of the blue connected to the higher yellow later that I wasn’t experiencing directly, yet I felt it as myself. Hard to describe. Like being two places at one time, but being concentrated in one place.

There’s a lot that was communicated to me, but I don’t remember most of it. It was all naturally telepathic, and I have described it in the past as “one part of myself telling another part of myself” my soul mission. It was basically I’m here to “lead people towards the light”. It’s the clearest most accurate thing I can remember. Apart from feeling like I was everything in existence. 🙂

I’ve also described before that when I was told about my mission it was like looking down a second tunnel (imagine it a pale blueish colour) of possibility into the future, which was like seeing pure energetic potential. But this potential was meant to happen. So it was like something that hadn’t happened, something that was meant to happen, and something that already happened, all at the same time.

Anyway, I haven’t shown it in the picture but yeah now I think about it more, at the beginning of the experience the higher yellow was the focus, but after that my consciousness did become more concentrated in the blue and it was like there were different layers to that (possibly why I coloured it in two different blue colours?), and I didn’t have access to all of them. Sort of like a veil covering a lot of things. Even though it was all me anyway. Weird to describe. But I accessed one part more directly in the second tunnel, which wasn’t going up, but forwards.

So I’ve figured that out. Anyway, then it all faded away and I was left permanently within my heart consciousness. I also want to mention that the guy who pulled me up through the tunnel you hear about in NDE’s actually pulled me up to my third eye/crown chakras in my head. But like I said I was laying down yet the whole experience happened ‘above’ me physically too, and it’s pretty much impossible to draw something like that. It’s too complex to put into a 2D or 3D drawing.

Then afterwards my mind/logic/ego returned and I was left with five words running around my head: “I Am That I Am”. And suddenly it made perfect sense.

I immediately felt different and I had a whole personality change, but my mind thought I imagined the whole thing for a good four months or so. 😉 I still didn’t believe for another two months after I started to accept it happened. That was when I started to become more stable in my heart consciousness, since even though I was anchored there I would slip many times. But after about six months I rarely slipped. Have only slipped a couple of times since then. Permanently centered.

As I became more stable though I confused myself for my higher self/soul (oversoul??), and obviously this is still something I do. Because I know myself as my higher self/soul, it gets really confusing. But my consciousness is concentrated in my heart so I should remember that. Makes it easier to understand. Whilst higher me is concentrated too, though knows itself as me, I guess?