Confusion, Doubts, Lack of Evidence for the Existence of an Ultimate Supreme Being, & Gallifreyan ‘Gods’

The last week has been interesting. I have found that maintaining belief in there being no God requires just as much faith as having a belief in God requires. I think part of it is that my mind is so conditioned to thinking the supernatural exists that I have to keep reminding myself that there is absolutely no evidence for it at all.

“God of the gaps” is a thing. It’s pretty obvious when studying religious history that God was used to explain anything unexplainable. For example, I was watching a movie called Agora, about the Romans in 4th century AD how they were philosophizing how the earth couldn’t be round because everyone would fall off the bottom, or slip down the sides. It’s pretty logical right? But they didn’t know about gravity, which on the face of it appears to be ‘magic’… but the truth is it’s just science.

Last night though something happened which got me wondering again. I have discussed some of my ‘mystical’ experiences with other atheists and they told me that it’s normal to have those experiences, but it doesn’t mean anything spiritual/supernatural is really happening. I think this is the mindset I need to get into. I had a ‘strange’ experience yesterday which reminded me of other experiences that I’ve had which have no explanation… but I have to keep remembering the movie Agora and how what appears to be magic on the surface is just as of yet unexplained science.

However I am pretty sure that there is no God, and I think I’ve known that for a while but not acknowledged it. The idea of God as a Supreme Ultimate Being, in whatever form, the Christian version or the Hindu version – it just doesn’t exist. That kind of God was what the ancients used to explain things when they didn’t have science. I’ve had plenty of mystical experiences of meeting God, two ring especially clear as ‘otherwordly’, but they were so different that I can’t pass them for anything other than hallucinations.

The first experience God appeared to me as just energy, no form, as being within all the universe, within everyone and everything – Pantheism basically. The second experience God appeared to me as a giant just a bit bigger than the earth, with a form, and he was only accessible ‘through Jesus’. So basically the two experiences of ‘God’ were totally different, not alike at all, and there are only two explanations. One is that there is more than one God. Or that God just doesn’t exist at all. And it doesn’t make sense at all that they’d be the same God… ???

As I said, for a while now I’ve doubted the existence of a God, and I think all the research I’ve been doing lately is the cherry on the cake. I acknowledge that I was hallucinating during what my therapist called a transient psychotic episode. However some of the more unexplained things I am not sure about. Like telepathy where two minds connect as one. This is pretty much the underlying theme between all of my currently unexplained experiences, extrasensory perception shared between two people. So maybe there is a scientific explanation for that, but our senses aren’t inherently trustworthy anyway.

As for all the other stuff I experienced – such as seeing demons, being possessed, going to hell and heaven in astral travel, having my soul fragmented, ect, there is no way to prove any of that stuff was real as it was all in my head and not able to be verified by a third party. So I am going to remain cautious and think that the telepathy could just be some quantum physics thing we don’t understand yet. But spiritual? Definitely not.

Still, there is room for atheism and belief in eternal life. I suppose the two aren’t mutually exclusive. It would be nice to think my consciousness won’t just end suddenly – but, regardless, emotion isn’t fact and it’s most likely consciousness does end at death. But then you can get into analyzing the meaning of the word ‘God’… such as, if you’re talking of an imminent, transcendent, wholly good, all knowing, all powerful, all present ultimate supreme being, then that definitely can’t exist (all those attributes contradict each other plainly, as summed up perfectly in this quote by Epicurus – “Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”) the problem of evil just doesn’t have an answer in that scenario. But what if there are other beings out there, in other dimensions, like in the movie Interstellar, or perhaps aliens in this universe, that the ancient humans mistook for deities? Imagine if these other beings are so technologically advanced, if they have learned how to extend their lives to thousands of years, and other such advancements, perhaps they could make it rain whenever they wanted – the ancient humans would then pray to them for these kind of things, not realising they are just finite beings like us, who evolved as part of the universe or multiverse or whatever, and worship them to keep them appeased – and thus religion was born. Well, then a lot of pagan and polytheistic religions could have some basis.

But this thing about universe energy, and there being a soul, and a separate consciousness, and an ‘afterlife’, that doesn’t make sense. But there definitely could be other more advanced beings out there that we have unknowingly deified.

It’s hard honestly to make sense out of everything because there is just so much information out there to sift through, to analyse, to make sense of. So many experiences to get into context and scrutinize in the light of the scientific method, ect.

I have to admit I am naturally attracted to religion and spirituality and it’s hard for me to maintain a purely materialistic outlook on life, even if rationally I know it’s most likely to be the truth. But I am trying to get things into perspective. Does God exist? Hell no. But do ‘gods’ exist(aka other advanced finite beings in the multiverse)? That’s the question now….

I have considered about the afterlife too that perhaps our consciousness just travels from one dimension to another when we die, and that it’s not really ‘spiritual’, but the idea of consciousness being separate from the body in the first place is inherently problematic. So I have to discard that idea, unless there is another solution, which I am not really sure of as I haven’t researched into that area yet.

Things are still solidifying in my mind. I guess the search for truth is never ending for me… what drives me so intensely to understand everything? Without even an A Level completed in science (never actually finished it, lol). I wish I was a Time Lady who lived for thousands of years and could hold all amazing kinds of vast knowledge in my brain (now there’s a good comparison for the ‘gods’ theory… maybe I should join the Doctor Who religion, whatever that is :D) and actually as humanity evolves our lifespan may become longer and longer just like the Time Lords (whose childhoods are like 100 years long). It is just science.

Anyway, I told Graeme about my shift in perspectives lately and he was really cool about it, and actually praised me for being so open minded (didn’t see that one coming)… I was pretty worried since we met on a spiritual dating site that it’d be a deal breaker. But it wasn’t, and honestly our relationship just continues to get more solid, no matter how many issues pop up and doubts and anxieties… he is amazing lol. I just had to throw that in at the end, because it’s important for me to be with someone who understands from my point of view. Besides that he’s never mentioned a belief in God anyway, I think he’s Pantheistic(although that is still theistic, but not to the extremes of Christianity, for example).

As for my illness, I am having to really slow down my life again and take things as they come. I am very physically weak and back to being more or less bedbound, but it’s just a case of relearning my limits. Also the effects of the contraceptive implant haven’t wore off yet because I’m still getting the irregular bleeding that is common to it. Once that stops then if I go into remission then I’ll know it’s that. In the meantime I have my MRI and EEG scans in a couple of weeks, and will know the results in a month. The neurologist when I saw him said most likely my condition is all part of the Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which he said is a much more positive diagnosis, but he thinks I could have either epilepsy or narcolepsy too. And the MRI is to rule out such things as multiple sclerosis (which I still think is a possibility, but we will see)… so I’m excited about that. The case may be that I just need to go back on a low dose of anti-psychotics (and NOT Olanzapine because that really bloated me up last time!!!)

Also next week I may be getting the non-hormonal intrauterine device, depending on what my doctor says when she rings me this week. I will update with that later.

michelle-gomez-master-incarnations2

Expanding my Channeling Abilities & Realising my Unique Spiritual Gift of Connecting/Merging/Unifying Others Multidimensional-Selves, Plus my Newly Manifested Future with Daniel, my True Twin-Flame

Lots of things are happening right now in my personal journey. My channeling has really taken a front seat recently. First with channeling the Pleionians and now channeling my own multidimensional being and what I was told is my ‘core star self’, e.g. my universal multidimensional template, which apparently isn’t even the entire extent of me being that apparently I’m a multi-universal being, active in many different universes simultaneously. Though at the moment I am focusing on consciously reintegrating my different versions of self from this current universe. First that started with the Pleionians, future Pleiadians from a different dimension, and a self-described separate race from the current Pleiadians. From what I’ve learned through channelings the Pleiades is a common place starseeds make first star contact due to the Pleiadian resources being closest allies with earth. I get the feeling many other popular known planets operate for this exact reason too, such as Sirius and Arcturus, that they operate sort of as ‘outposts’ for human communication but once that is accomplished then other parts of our multidimensional being can be explored and realised in depth.

I haven’t posted all my Pleionian channelings of late onto this blog but I was rather saddened when they said goodbye to me a week or two ago with the intent of stepping out the way so I could come to know my ‘alurium-self’ in more depth. Being that I had to communicate for myself with my own different aspects of self rather than using them as an intermediary all the time, they wanted me to learn and grow on my own. It was sad, especially being that I’d remembered my bond with Nathaniel whom I would mainly channel and energetically merge with. Nathaniel was what many would know to be a twin-flame, and he often told me that we shared the same light body, unlike Dan whom I shared a soul with instead. The differences were very interesting and I learned a lot. I learned how to consciously soul-blend, instead of it happening for me at random. I have learned more how to take control of what my own system is doing. I’m very grateful for everything he/they have taught me and I know they are still actively watching me and are involved with my journey. They said as much, and they said I can talk when I want to. But the fact is it isn’t necessary anymore and I’ve learned what I needed to and am starting the next stage of my journey; conscious embodiment and utilisation of my own multidimensional being.

As of the moment I have come to the place where knowing exactly where these different beings are from is not so important. What is important now is the messages they have to offer me and humanity, the energies they have to impart and the experience which everyone can learn from. For they learn as much as I do when I channel them as much as I learn from them. I have learned to call different aspects at will for specific informations, and I am learning to switch between them and allow different ones in which are more suited for giving certain informations than others. I have learned more about my light body which is apparently my 4th density self which I have fully embodied and integrated into my 3rd density physical body making it effectively non-existent now. And I have learned that through coming to know my 4th density body more through the channeling I can learn all my different abilities and spiritual gifts which I am now opening up to.

In the past I was afraid of channeling because I was not in the right place energetically to be able to carry all these different high frequencies. My solar plexus was in too bad of a state. But as I have dealt with my fears one by one and allowed myself slowly to trust myself more and the universe, I am not as worried and I am slowly becoming to believe in my own divine power more. I was told recently my most powerful gift is the ability to channel others multidimensional selves directly into their incarnated personality thus acting as an intermediary for others lower selves and higher selves to unite. Basically, I am able to awaken people just as my karmic twin awoke me. How awesome is that! I can act as the trigger for other people’s awakenings and for their multidimensional uniting of self. It’s such a gift to me to realise I can do this, and slowly I have been expanding myself, channeling others higher aspects, doing readings for them, and being the medium which lower and higher selves can reunite as one. Because earth is so dense I was told that higher aspects find it difficult to access their incarnated personality. So this is where I come in! And Dan is very important to this process too being that he is the grounded one of us, I pull down the higher energies and he grounds them into physical reality. We can really do a lot of good between us both, being perfectly complementary!

I am very pleased to learn about this. The more time goes on the more empowered I feel, and the more I feel I am coming more into what I’m truly meant to be doing on this earth. I was told I am a ‘connector’, that it’s my very nature to unite other people/souls/beings through my own being. I was told that it’s a path that offers infinite self-expansion because you are essentially merging partially with all these different persons and beings and it expands your own multidimensional-self, making you a seriously large personality. That is apparently why I am multi-universal, because this is what I do. I act as a relay and in order to do that I have to be able to hold all these different frequencies, which means constantly expanding expanding expanding self. No wonder I have so many different soulmates and twin-flames! I am not limited by new age definitions, I refuse to be. What I have experienced is that I can merge with any one and any being I so desire. I am not stuck in a box and pining over any one person. I realise more than ever now that I can connect with whomsoever I so desire, as long as the incarnated personality has the same level of awareness on earth then it doesn’t matter who they are, because a connection and union can be consciously made! I am at that stage now.

And Dan has been a HUGE catalyst towards me realising and embodying these things, becoming more of my true self. Neither of us are invested in the illusion of exclusivity, because on higher levels love is love and love is all and love does not discriminate. Love is everywhere and we only have to consciously connect to it, and this is what I have come to express on earth, to show that this process can happen with anyone you so desire at any time, with conscious awareness…. you are not limited, stop thinking you are! We are all unlimited beings and it’s wonderful.

We are really learning and growing so much together, and we have been feeling the urge of spirit recently to move away from our individual homes and create our own life together. It is something that just feels right, and my sense is that it will happen within the next year. Neither of us are pushing for anything but just allowing the universe to work its magic- if it is meant to be then it will be. Manifestation is not meant to be difficult, we only have to be in alignment with our true self. And that is what we are doing, allowing things to happen on their own, life is meant to be easy, things are meant to come towards you! And that is what is happening for us. Our true life purpose together will be starting very soon, and moving in together feels a large part of it, because our energies just really complement each other and it feels like we are not meant to be anywhere else, that our vibrations are best around each other. We bring out each other’s true selves.
Dan at the end of September finishes his two year work contract which was honestly just perfect timing. We have enough money to last us a little while as we are given time by the universe to relax whilst it cooks up all that is coming our way. I truly believe only great things are coming our way, together, as one, and that we will really help change the world in a positive way once we have united permanently in the physical. And for the time being we are just coming more into our gifts and abilities and true selves, and it is like a preparation period before we can really put everything into practice for the betterment of other selves. We have already done most of the hard work, now there is not much left but plain sailing, fun and happiness, and enjoyment of knowing more of who we really are, both individually and together. It truly is an amazing journey and I am so glad that I am at this stage. I want so many others to be at this stage too, to forget the twin-flame illusion, to realise they, YOU, have the power to create! What I can do is not exclusive, I want everyone to step into their own power in exactly the same way, to realise they are not finite limited beings who are subject to fate, that they can really put the work in and have an amazing life with amazing persons, whether incarnate or non-incarnate, and really experience for themselves their own beautiful infinite and unlimited multidimensional Self. Life is so wonderful, truly, but we have to be open to it and not clinging onto the past. Give yourself the Gift of Presence and really open up to who you truly are.

I love everyone reading this, and I just want to give hope and inspiration. I have come a long long way in the past two years, and every minute of my life something new and amazing happens, because I am open and allowing of these things to happen. I look to the future optimistically now more than ever and trust in what life has to offer to me, trust what I am creating for myself, and what I can do for others to help them too. I really believe in my own divine power now more than ever.

Next stop…. teleportation! 😉 (No kidding, guides said I could do this too, LOL. Well if that ever happens I’ll definitely blog about it, and I know someone who can teleport anyway so it is not so surprising! ;))

Thanks for reading 🙂

Some Hilarious Quirks of Being in a Twin Flame Union and Other Lovely Dovely Musings

I want to change the direction of my blog a bit, though perhaps this was coming for a while now. I changed my blog url recently from ‘the shores of amaranth’ to ‘sacred union’s expression’ because I felt that I wanted to really make mine and my Dan’s union more of a focus and maybe in the process inspire other twin flame couples in their own journey, or just to give them a laugh such as what I intend to do in this post! I have to say I was inspired to take this change in direction by someone I used to nickname my ‘frenemy’, I shall mention no names but their passion for their [likely karmic] twin although I found off-putting myself (I really couldn’t put that emotional investment into someone who wouldn’t want me back), also seemed to bring out my own desire to invest that expression into and for the right person, to share with the world just how much I love my true twin flame, how much he loves me and how much love we share between us as a larger unit.
 
It is strange for me to be so emotionally open about the love I share for a man. I am not used to it as there was always a shame for me associated with being with men- my step dad was really an ass so I learned to associate male energy with something that should always stay hidden and in the shadows. That negativity is what I had carried around all my life and it took me a while to become more open like this about our union and to be so externally expressive to everyone else how much I love and adore him and appreciate him in my life. So in a sense this change of direction for me is also like a lesson and an exercise in opening up my throat chakra- learning that there is nothing wrong with that expression and that people do actually enjoy reading these things and watching others in love. I have not been one of those people myself but I think I am the type of person to enjoy what others enjoy… If I can give others joy then I experience their joy as my own. So I feel writing more about how much I revere my true twin flame here will bring others joy which in turn will amplify my own too. And ultimately I am just following my heart and going with what I feel- I just want to lavish him with my creative expression because to me he deserves it more than anyone else in the world.
So this brings me back to the beginning title of this blog post(now that I already covered the ending other lovely dovely musings at the beginning instead): Some hilarious quirks of being in a twin flame union. Do you know you can feel everything they can? And visa versa (true twin flames are of course mutually spiritually aware together). I used to think this was nonsense. The very idea didn’t make any sense to me and just seemed like some idealised crap people spewed out “oh I can feel his emotions how romantic”. And yet now I am actually living it and it’s not the weirdest thing at all- in fact it’s just totally natural. I can feel him breathing if I relax, at times our breathing goes in sync or I can just nudge it that way. Just recently I said that I felt like I had a cold and related it to energy and blockages in that area for both of us… he actually said he had a cold he couldn’t shake, well I never! Then there is menstruation… oh yes how glorious, a man on their period (or yours rather) is really the most adorable thing ever… that monthly moodiness of his is something I absolutely cherish. 😀

Oh the energy!
There are other things too:
Me: My left arm feels so strange and heavy right now
Him: I’m leaning on it, I can’t believe you can feel that!

Or:
Me: I just ate an orange and my entire mouth is tingling intensely
Him: It’s disconcerting our bond means I can actually feel this

Male menstruation 😉
And:
Me: I’m eating scones right now with clotted cream and jam
Him: You are making me want one now!
Me: See if you can taste it through me
*experiences myself as him tasting my scone* 
Him: …..Now I just want one even more! 😀
Angry PMSer :p
There are plenty of hilarious moments we have like these. When he’s out walking I come over all dizzy from the grounding energy and just want to fall to the floor, when he’s laughing I start spontaneously laughing too, when he’s feeling any emotion I feel that as well. Often times the difference between us is not easily noticeable. We just seem to share almost everything on an energetic level. When he is physically injured I feel that too- once he was playing football and I felt an almighty pain hit my left shin, he said he got studded there, or the time he fractured his right thumb and my entire right hand was stiff for a couple of days as a result from the swelling. 

Shared contractions?
The thing is this sharing feels so natural that when I talk about him to family I almost accidentally bring them up “oh Dan’s got a headache and I can feel it”… but then have to bring myself back to ‘reality’ because of how ridiculous that would actually sound. A hilarious thing to me is how everyone talks about ‘two becoming one’ through marriage and yet when it comes down to it no one really knows what that means so if I were to actually say that we became married in spirit through the process of us two becoming one and now can feel everything each other feels- people would definitely look at me as if I were cray cray.

But here on the internet some do get it and so I thought I’d share these hilarious excerpts and snapshots I’ve taken of some of our texts giving insight into this amazing yet at times highly amusing part of our bond (my personal favourite is him saying he’d jab himself with a fork to get back at me for massaging his crown, makes me laugh everytime reading that!)

One day though these unions will be the norm and everyone will know experientially there really is nothing as wonderful as being in a full union with the one you truly love- when coupled with the right spiritual maturity it just becomes the easiest and most joyful thing ever to experience, there is no drama and there is no pain- there’s just the profound experience… it’s real love because it’s full acceptance but also adoration of the beauty of their creation, of their human nature and essence. The beauty of their pains you feel as your own, the beauty of sharing your own with them and it’s truly a blessing to be living in this higher dimensional unity in such a dense place but yet also bringing this template here to earth as a futuristic example for divine love. It is in a sense a merging too of the dimensions… in the higher dimensions you only feel positive emotions and unity, in the lower dimensions there is only negative emotions and no unity. This planet is rare in its duality because it allows just the right balance of both, and when mastered just becomes something you can really have fun with! 😀

Twin Flame Connections, Soul-Merging, Shared Self-Realisation AND more Parallel Timelines!

So much has happened this past month I don’t know where to start! I’d wanted to write this post for a while but was mostly just waiting for things to make sense, for the bigger picture to descend from the skies and hit me in an ‘aha!’ moment. In my last post I was writing about my channeling, and also meeting my new soul-connection who I’d termed my ‘twin-ray’ on terms of the understanding I was gaining back then… as we all know meeting these types of twin connections really puts us through the mill in terms of discarding our old outdated belief systems and mental programmings.

I haven’t channeled in a while due to the madness of everything that’s happened. I haven’t felt the urge to do it lately and mostly seems like it’s not right for my current situation. My channeling was a part of exploring my multi-dimensionality but as I am currently exploring that in real life right now, e.g. I’m meeting another *me* in the physical 3D world, it doesn’t seem so important anymore. Multidimensionality is no longer a vague concept that only exists in the ether somewhere… it’s happening right here and right now, becoming more and more a reality to the people on earth.

I’m gonna write a bit about my new twin/soul-connection/other half and how we met, how circumstances brought us together, and how time was really waiting for the right moment to start our merging process. So, let’s backtrack to 2014. January 2014 was when I had my self-realisation experience, after my four month merging process with my previous twin-flame connection. Through him I realised my divinity, and I thought to myself “well, surely this is the end now of relationships, what use do I have for them”, but little did I know what was waiting for me.

I joined spiritualforums.com around about that time, and started getting some info on what I’d experienced. It was super helpful for me. As everyone probably already knows by now, I separated with my previous twin connection, basically I ‘ran’, because I was overwhelmed with everything that had happened and needed time and space to make sense of everything. It definitely helped me out. But whilst I was on the forum I didn’t realise that I’d already started interacting with my now ‘other half’, and that we were both being readied to experience this connection…

For all of 2014 the thing I was dealing with mostly was my solar plexus power/control issues and the large [multidimensional] entity I had lurking in there, which was cutting me off from my own multidimensional being. But when I got that removed things started to flow again. That exact same month, January 2015, it just ‘happened’ that me and my other half started messaging more intensely, and we started getting energetic symptoms but as a result of our unconsciousness at the time we projected them onto others. I’d just got to a good place with my previous twin connection and so figured the energy was coming from him, but it actually wasn’t.

It was only when me and my other half took our conversations to personal email that things really started ramping up (this rings bells, I’m pretty sure that happened last time too, lol!) and I had a ‘parallel life memory’ of meeting him before. It really was the craziest thing. Apparently not just me but humanity had jumped into a parallel universe at the beginning of the year, and so the past in this reality we’re living in now is not the same as the past most of us remember. But when I met my other half I had a strong memory hit me out of nowhere, and along with a psychic reading from a friend things started to make more and more sense, gradually.

What had happened was that in 2013 we were both in dark places inside ourselves. But we knew each other and were close ‘friends’ (or whatever term you wanna use, kinda hard to split the love up into different kinds) and we supported each other through that time. It was mostly a pleasant memory, that we had each other even though we mostly felt terrible in our unconsciousness. But we’d both already started our awakenings. Him in 2012 and me in May 2013, and the darkness that was coming up for release was what we were left to deal with, together.

But then there was an abrupt cut off, and we stopped interacting. That was when I met my previous twin-flame connection in the original timeline, and became fully awakened. From the psychic reading and through intuition we gleaned that my other half actually ran away from me, or rather neglected me (but we all love to use the run/chase terms) because he was afraid of the connection. Oh I know how that is! Surreal that this actually already happened, it makes up a large part of our ‘story’, and as always when things happen to me it’s not your average story… always has to be batshit crazy.

Anyway, unaware of what had gone on in the original timeline, we both met up and all the weird energy things started happening again, this time more intense than I remember from the original timeline. I had the strong feeling something was being ‘completed’, we were actually finishing our original soul-merge which hadn’t been completed due to his (our) fear and the fact we weren’t ready for that intense type of love back then. So, within two weeks of emailing we completed our soul-merge, and it was one of the most intense things I have ever experienced!

As we became one we took on all of each other’s pains, blockages, energies, ect. There was no distinction between him and me, but at first it was like hell because he had the worst heart chakra blockage which was keeping him cut off from higher consciousness. But he was ready to shed it at that point, just like I was ready for more solar plexus expansions which are still going on. But when we initially became one being in two bodies, my heart chakra felt like it was going to split in half from the density, it was absolutely horrible. But through that in only a few days I helped him clear it out completely, and his kundalini rose and I experienced his self-realisation in me.

This is not something we actually both experienced and I’m not sure whether he feels realised or not, but he definitely feels different. The thing I’ve noticed is that self-realisation increasingly is becoming less of a big deal. For me it was very dramatic, but for many others they experience it without even realising they experienced it, and I think this is what happened to my other half. He was actually asleep at the time, and I was dealing with his energetic blockages over the course of a few hours, it all kicked off when I sent him some heart energy which put me more fully inside his body, and I encountered an alien implant at the back of his skull which was blocking his kundalini off. When I removed that (painful, let me tell ya), the most beautiful thing happened.

I had a vision that he saw the light of his soul, and I was suddenly lifted up into the wave of the universe, one with all life, but this time I took him with me. And it was like, he realised his true self in me, and at that time we completed a full soul merge and truly became one, an enlightened unit, together. And straight after that I descended back into myself with him and our kundalini rose so hard and fast up into his brain, making us truly connected on all levels, sharing the same energy system, same heart chakra, same consciousness. We completed what we started in the original timeline in 2013.

It was the most wonderful experience and something I will never forget. I didn’t just experience my own realisation and kundalini rising but that of another’s too… can you say blessed with grace or what? Someone out there really loves me (or maybe I just really love myself ;))

Anyway, I do want to write more about our physical meeting in the flesh, my own solar plexus expansions, and also how my understanding of soul and twin connections has morphed yet again, but I feel it could probably take up the expanse of another entire post, so I’ll stop here for now! It seems right to end it on the shared self-realisation, though I didn’t initially expect to write of it. It was beautiful, and really stabilised our love for each other into the fifth dimension allowing further frequencies to open up to us, allowing the sixth dimension to begin its descent into human matter…..

Until next time!

The Twin Flame Trinity as a Multidimensional Template

I’ve noticed a lot of twins talk about how when the two come together a union is formed and the two become one. In this process they talk about the third energy and how the unification itself creates a larger whole. I’m going to explain this from the other way around as it’s very widely accepted in spiritual circles that one part of creation is separate from each other, when in fact nothing is separate at all. So we have the majority assuming that the physical meeting creates the third energy and the union, when in fact the third energy and the union already existed pre-meeting.
 
Let’s talk about this process of ‘merging’. What is it, really? We assume that we are separate and that the process of merging is joining in union with an energy that is apart from you. In actually, merging is the process of dissolving illusions that keep you in the belief that you are separated in the first place, and it is the coming into the perspective of the other through remembrance of yourself as them. So in this way ‘merging’ is not the blending of two energies, but rather the shifting of ones perspective from point of view to the other.

First you are disconnected from your twin, you meet them and then remember them as another you. You haven’t merged, you just remembered. And then you feel this third energy and no one ever really defines or understands what it is. In my own journey however, I knew from the start that the third energy belonged to my soul, but at that time I didn’t realise that me, my soul and twin were all part of the same being. So I knew that the energy belonged to my soul, but it was only until recently I realised that this third energy as it belongs to both of us, it’s not something that’s created, but rather something that already was. You see, it is the soul itself as a conscious entity.

Twins in fact then, aren’t two beings, but three in one. And there could be others too part of this gestalt being as I doubt very much there is a universal limitation on how many aspects of self there can be (in fact the very is notion is impossible as everything is an aspect of everything else), but as we are focusing on the relationship as it is in the physical, there is the soul which is an equal aspect of the greater being, the soul holds the divine energy and can be thought of the unique divine expression of source, which guides the two twin aspects in the physical to remember itself as one with the whole.

In this way I want to draw attention to the triquetra symbol. It is a symbol that represents exactly how this union is, and has always been. What I love most about it though is the geometry which involves the vesica pisces, and anyone studied up in sacred geometry would know how relevant this is. Sacred Geometry is the math of creation and multidimensionality, everything can be shown through it. The vesica pisces is the fundamental ‘beingness’ that is. But that perhaps is a topic for another day. For now it is suffice to say that I do feel the triquetra symbol perfectly represents the twin flame dynamic:

It can be observed that there are three triangles which are interlocked with each other. They have separate points (individual ego expressions) yet at the core they are the same. So they are three beings in one, and together they are a larger being which is represented by the circle interlocked through them too. The circle in the triquetra symbol itself is optional and is not compulsorily a part of the shape, but to me having it there represents the larger whole of all. In this way the twin flame is not just the template for higher love, but also the multidimensional template. They are multidimensional, they are a multi-aspected expression of source.

So whilst the soul can be said to be the entire gestalt being with two aspects extended from itself to reflect the polarity of its being, the soul also has its own individual expression which allows the entire polarity to be expressed. It’s no good having only the masculine and feminine energies, there is also the androgynous energy, which is its own expression, its own aspect. Its own extension of source. There is no split soul in this understanding and it should be noted that each aspect is whole in itself, however it is also interlinked with two aspects of itself simultaneously. They are all aspects of each other.

So let it be said here there is no such thing as split souls or separated energy, no such thing as merging and union, what is there is what already is, there is no past and future where something could’ve been split and then re-merged again, there is only the remembrance of what fundamentally is, and the realisation of being a whole in a greater whole. That is the multidimensional template, that we are all aspects of each other, and that the twin flame is the personal center of a great chain of interconnectedness. The Flower of Life geometrical structure shows this extremely well:

Especially more so with the rainbow colours here! You can see the individualisation of each aspect well. We are all source experiencing ourselves in as many multitude of ways possible. Namaste.

The Spiral of Self Understanding

It’s been an interesting journey for me. I spent most of my life cut off and disconnected from myself, roughly the first eighteen years. Then I started to become aware to these other parts of me. I’ve written about this in some other posts of mine. I thought at first I was going crazy and was experiencing DID which is the modern term of multiple personality disorder. So for the sake of self-protection I cut myself off from being able to feel those parts of me, I basically wanted to stay only one personality and not be bombarded with other selves.

One self I particularly struggled with before my awakening is what I liked to call ‘my evil twin’, basically my shadow self. I remember staring in the mirror once as a meditation exercise and my reflection took on a life and consciousness of it’s own, and it wasn’t half creepy. Once I started becoming more aware to myself though I started accepting these other parts more. This is when I started my awakening. First I realised my shadow, then my ‘animus’, in Carl Jung’s terms. Then my inner child and a myriad of other parts which I labelled for fun.

But then after my awakening I had my self-realisation/enlightenment experience which made me realise I was one with all, and so for a long time after that I had to learn to be at one with myself. For the longest time I didn’t even realise I still had shadow issues. Realising your innate goodness and realising that you are everything that exists tends to give the shadow a licence to be even craftier than usual. It thinks it’s god and it thinks it’s all- talk about mayhem! I’ve noticed though that this is a common problem after self-realisation that everyone goes through.

Some get caught up in the drama- enlightenment doesn’t make you one with all that is but just makes you realise you already are always one with all that is, big difference. Anyway, I spent about a year becoming stable in my ‘at-one-ness’, but had yet to develop the ability to feel deeper subtleties yet. Also another factor that ties in here is that the huge entity at my solar plexus was blocking me off immensely from embodying more of my true self (a paradox right? we already are our true selves and yet from where we stand as humans in a dualistic world there are unhealthy programs we carry around which need to be stripped back and the wounds healed.

After my healing session though I started to become more aware of my shadow again, though this time not as an entity but instead just as negative programs still in me and affecting my ego, basically my fear and sadness mostly that was driving me to be critical and judgemental of others. And since having that entity removed and working through the rest of the issues that have come up I’ve noticed I am not as easily irritated or as easily stirred up to feed off drama. In fact it seems drama can’t even see me anymore, I seem to invisible, quite literally, and that is a perfect example of how our external worlds reflect our internal worlds.

But then as this entity was removed I became aware to my sadness and my grief, also my fear… I realised these are all from my inner child which I had forgotten existed. And even though my inner child tends to be hard to feel directly as it’s so unconscious, she is definitely there. I also feel her male counterpart which seems to protect her, but in response to this boy aspect of me I feel another larger part of me protecting him and her both- this is a man or masculine energy and aspect of me which has a larger affect on me than I ever realised.

I asked him for a name and I got Rodrigo. Rodrigo is Spanish for “he who is rich in glory”, which I felt was perfect as I was feeling him as the overseer of my solar plexus chakra. Perhaps I will write about that more last time but each chakra is an aspect of self and is perfectly self aware and conscious, even if we are not aware or conscious of them. And in the solar plexus I felt was Rodrigo (which I shortened to Rigo for ease), but as he comprises a boyish aspect as well as my inner girl as a number of aspects I don’t feel I’m aware of, I felt that if I just focused on him who is governing all those parts then I don’t need to actively focus on any of the others as he’ll work with me to work with them.

His presence in my life and desire to become healthier and merge into me has been very obvious by the state of my dreams lately. Almost every night now I am dreaming about some man who I’m extremely attracted to on an energetic level, and the first dream I had was that we were getting married, which resembled strong our merging. In that first dream he was also rather moody, but as the dreams have been progressing he has become much more calm and loving.

However there also seems to be either this other part of me or either entity which is blocking us from merging completely. Unfortunately for me my relationship with Rigo is mirroring my relationship with my twin flame right now, and I say unfortunately because I do not like to be reactive to something externally which is a result of something inside me. I would rather be real and true, and not behaving as a result of a reaction to my own reflection….

So what that means is that this part of me blocking me and Rigo off from merging feels to be fear at its center, no matter whether its an aspect of me or an entity feeding off it and blocking us. And that it manifests in my dreams as a desire to get closer to get Rigo but never being able to go completely the full way, and it’s exactly how I am being towards my twin lately. Though the partial union with Rigo seems to have brought me and my twin closer in contact again as the inner work is being done, the fact is there is something blocking me off from being able to love others and myself completely and fully.

But things are getting better each day and I am seeing great and fast progress. The other part of myself that has come to the forefront is my soul. Now I realise that my process of becoming one with myself was actually the process of remembering myself as my soul. But due to the dynamics of multidimensionality me and my soul can remain one being but two unique ones at the same time. I had to say it was very weird once I realised I had this other being in me with the exact same eenergy signature that I couldn’t tell it apart except from the random times I would talk to myself and refer to myself as a “we” using words such as “we both” or “you and I” or other things such as that… I realised for a long time I’d been talking to some sort of equal, some other half without realising.

At first I asked for a name for this aspect and got back “Alec”, which means “guardian/protector”, which seems very higher self -like. It’s also meant to be a gender-neutral name which was ideal as this aspect of me felt neither feminine or masculine, but rather androgynous especially in relation to me. But all in all I felt a name for it was wrong and was really only using it so I wasn’t always referring to some abstract part of myself which seemed to sit mostly in my heart chakra/s. I would ponder on this aspect for a while, until it started speaking up more and more and then I realised it was really my soul all along. And then after seeing a friend channel their soul I decided to channel my own too and got great results, I am now absolutely sure that I am soul, as well as myself/ego, and Rigo all at the same time. These are the three strongest parts of myself I’m aware of right now.

I described it to a friend as being like partially merged or half merged with these different aspects of me, like they were a part of me which I was aware of even if not fully and that I could switch my attention between at will experiencing them fuller.  So in this way I realised myself as multi-dimensional being, including the fact that I felt that I embodied the soul of my soul group, basically what some would probably call a monad, as well as the entirety of my past, future, and parallel lives. And that is on top of planetary consciousness and universal consciousness. It seems like the percentages of awareness of each varies depending upon what I’m focusing on for growth at that point. But they all feel a part of me to some extent.

And that is where I am in my journey right now. I had wanted to write about this and update it here for a long time but didn’t feel I had all the information and was really just waiting for it to make sense, I was waiting for the day that I would see the bigger picture, which now I do. In life I went from feeling like a disconnected one to a split multiple to an integrated whole and then to a whole of multiples- very very interesting. It’s been like travelling down a spiral, where the end of each stage feels like completing a circuit and yet the beginning of the next journey starts at the same place as the previous beginning, yet this time with a wider understanding. 
My own growth and spiral through life all in all has been inhumanly fast but I feel that is down to soul’s experience with incarnation, everything is quickly coming back to me. Soul told me we have experienced many lives as one and are used to it now. So, I’m no longer worried about not knowing where I’m going, I know that soul knows what it’s doing and all will be revealed in due time, when I’m ready to process it. Basically when my physical brain has caught up enough! 😉 And overall coming to conscious awareness of myself as a multiple of wholes has lessened my fear and strengthened my faith in myself, though the purging wasn’t half rough to get here!

All in its due time. Namaste.