These past few days since I last wrote, I had a realisation that even though I’m broken, it doesn’t prevent me from healing/delivering others, because I have the anointing and gifting which was given directly from Jesus to me. It’s mine for life now.
Being part of the new age convinced me that I had to be whole myself before I could heal others, but Jesus/the Holy Spirit told me recently that that’s not true, that in all my brokenness, sin, and pain, I can still deliver others from their issues, even if I’m not delivered from them myself (bit of a pain in the ass realising that really)…. it’s not on my own merit that I can do that, but purely the grace of God to me. God is more powerful than my shit.
But I keep praying lately Jesus will show me how to heal my dissociative identity disorder spiritually… after all it started spiritually, and so there has to be a spiritual cure too. Not only that, but I want to have the tools to heal others from it, if they have it.
I can imagine creating a website or community where people all over the world can set up free video calls with me for a prophecy/healing/deliverance session. Unless the people actually have money, then I’d charge. But there are a lot of people who are skint and need this spiritual kind of help.
Healing other’s has really always been my heart’s desire, and mum told me if that was my calling in life and all I ever had to do, I’d be content and happy, and truth is, I would. Very much so. Healing others would make me happiest. I want to be a doctor in the spiritual, so being a spiritual doctor is like the next level up and perfect. Not only that but astrologically my sun is conjunct chiron in tenth house, meaning some way or another, healing others is very much a large part of my life. But I am only twenty three right now, so I still have plenty of time to grow into it.
I came across a girl on the internet who has problems with demonic attacks and I said I would video call her and see if the Holy Spirit leads me to do any deliverance/healing on her, as with what happened with my mum, and I prayed that if this really is my ministry, that this girl would be delivered and healed during the call, as a sign. So I have that to look forward to. I will update on that afterwards.
I thought with this post I would connect with Jesus again. Actually I’ve been wondering if I still have some major soul fragments missing, maybe one or two, as a result of the trauma I went through from the demons. Maybe during that entire mess I found pieces of myself I lost from childhood, but in the process lost new pieces of myself and now need to retrieve them to fully heal. It’s just a hunch, but I’ve been praying about it, and maybe I’ll get some answers now:
1) Hey Jesus, you wanna say anything to me first? I think I’ve been hearing you much more lately…
Just rest in me, the demons won’t bother you, I’ll make sure of it, and I WILL heal you, I will, trust me.
2) Is it your purpose for me to deliver/heal others?
My Holy Spirit will guide you in all things deliverance/healing related. Get to know my Holy Spirit best you can, because the FIRE will fall upon you, and you will need to know it intimately to impart it to others.
3) How can I heal others if I’m not healed myself yet? Do I still have evil spirits around me, influencing me, attached to me?
Yes, one specifically, Jezebel, but the day is coming where you’ll have the strength to kick her out completely, and your subconscious will be rewired and you’ll be healed.
4) So is Jezebel still influencing me then? Is that why I have so much fear?
Don’t focus on her, focus on me. She may be tormenting you, but I am much stronger, and you are more protected than you realise.
5) Do I still have a major soul fragment missing, or two?
Yes, I have all of it, she is here, the adult you, in my arms, being looked after by me.
6) What has to happen to her, for me to be fully healed?
Deep, deep, psychological healing.
7) Can you expand more?
Your internal structure has to be strong enough to support her first. You have to strengthen, and that will happen through learning about me and loving me.
8) Can I not just integrate her now, all in one go?
No, you are not strong enough, if you tried you’d risk more fragments splintering off.
9) So you wouldn’t suggest me doing a soul retrieval?
When you are strong enough, yes, but not now.
10) What can I do to strengthen myself now then, in preparation? What would be the fastest way of doing that?
Growing in love and awareness of me. Expanding yourself in mind spirit and body to make room for this fragment to return to its proper place.
11) How do I expand myself?
By drinking in my Holy Spirit in any way you can.
(There is a big emphasis for me on knowing and feeling and embodying the holy spirit…. starting to see that thread)