This week has been absolutely C-R-A-Z-Y.
I tell you all why, because the first half of it, my panic attacks were returning at full strength, and I was feeling so sick spiritually. And then the second half I was feeling so well I ended up spontaneously delivering my mum from an evil spirit and did a spiritual healing on her from all the new age techniques I’ve learned over the years – plus with the power of the Holy Spirit. What even!!!!!
During the deliverance I was SO badass, like shouting at this spirit to leave, that it had no authority, and such, and then after the entire thing happened, I was terrified again and wallowing in my terrific fears of being possessed. This was after I just did an exorcism!!!
I think Jesus has a sense of humour because I am INCREDIBLY messed up, my aura is in tatters, my soul is broken and fragmented, I have dissociative identity disorder, I am like a full on sinner and swear like all the time (a new development, actually), I feel unworthy of love, of Jesus, feel separated from God almost all the time, and feel generally lost and confused. Not to mention the depression, and hey, I haven’t even read the bible in months!!! Yeah, Jesus has got a sense of humour alright.
But, I think it’s part of my life mission, because I did a guided meditation with Archangel Michael who showed me my future as if I was watching a movie, that I’d go to India and bring the Holy Spirit there through doing exorcisms. What even!!! I didn’t make that up, it was the most vivid vision I’ve EVER had.
I have to admit that I started feeling much better though once I started doing the guided meditations on youtube, as well as self-hypnosis videos. I don’t always go along with it, feeling guided by the Holy Spirit (or my higher self) to go in a different direction, but the videos give me direction and guidance. A framework to work with, to speak.
I prefer doing the guided meditations with the Archangels, with Jesus and Mary, and there are plenty of more traditional Christian ones I haven’t done yet. Theologically I’d say I probably fall within liberal/progressive, I do feel that Jesus literally died to reunite everyone to God (as a Universalist), and that he had to die for that to happen. I can’t explain my reasoning because I don’t understand this from a conservative stance but rather a hermetic place. It’s weird that in the end it was Hermeticism and NeoPlatonism that brought me closer to Christ.
Anyway, I feel that doing the guided meditations has been developing my abilities more, and I don’t really plan to use a lot of it on others, but if God really wants me to become an exorcist/healer then that’s fine, but the Holy Spirit has its own way of doing things. The Holy Spirit uses what I learn and know naturally of course, but there is also the traditional “I cast you out in Jesus’ name”, which works wonders. Maybe it won’t help repair your aura, but it will get rid of evil spirits, and a lot of people need that kind of help.
Clearing my aura and soul is just for my own benefit really. After today I cut all healing cords as a result of habit, even though Christians don’t usually do that, but I’ve decided to do it just in case as a point of caution. I failed to cut cords before and that’s what messed me up. You can take on other’s stuff unconsciously, especially if it’s your own family and close friends.
So yeah, I guess my mission is healing others with a mix of traditional and new age healing techniques, because that’s what happened today.
And on that note, I did a self-hypnosis healing meditation the other day which had me imagine myself in all ages (which was ideal since I have dissociative identity disorder), and for the first time ever, I saw my higher self!!!! I didn’t expect to see my higher self there, but she was this ancient and timeless being, INCREDIBLY wise, I couldn’t believe it, I wasn’t sure these days if a higher self really existed, but there in that moment I couldn’t deny it.
Also, my higher self looked like an alien, lol, not really sure if that’s true and I’m from another planet, but I plan on doing a higher self meditation at some point. But I do feel all this healing is actually working, because my dissociative identity disorder has been getting so much better these past few days!