After the healing session it made me realise how little I knew about myself despite my defiance that I was almost fully aware. Due to that I’ve made the conscious choice now to stop being critical or judgemental towards others.. I’m releasing anything negative in my energy field. That includes all worry or fear I still carry around. I’m being positive instead! I mean I thought I was positive anyway, but not as much as I thought I was. I still fear consequences from the past, and just realising that was crazy.
In order to understand more about myself again on a subconscious level I’ve reverted back to Jung’s active imagination technique, which I will copy-paste below from my other blog:
So I started this session laying on my bed, did a five minute mediation to clear my mind. It was pretty hard to get into the flow of things as I haven’t meditated for ages, also it was in the middle of the day so my waking mind was more active.
Anyway, I used my old way to start things. I visualised myself in a cave with a lake, but I found I didn’t feel right there anymore. I teleported to a sunny field where I saw a girl there spinning around happily. Don’t know if that means anything, but I wasn’t fully grounded into the scene at that point. So I used my old techniques to do that; felt the grass, smelled the wind, saw the sunshine.
Then I was lead to a tree trunk, I walked to it and a door opened up. I walked in and was lowered back down into the original scene: A cave underground with a watery lake filling most of it. I was on the stony ground and I went up to the lake and peered in: I saw a fish which I think morphed into a huge monster thing. I didn’t really perceive the details of what it looked like, I just know it was a monster. I remember mostly black and red colours.
I jumped back scared and the monster spoke in a deep gravelly voice:(I don’t remember everything that was said so this is just the gist of it)
“Who do you think you are to enter my abode?” (the tone was intimidating)
Me: I-I’m Hayley, I was just wondering what was down hereMonster: Well now you know, don’t ever come back here again or I’ll bite your head off (curiously that threat is similar to a one my step-dad used to make all the time to me)*monster starts to retreat into the water again*Me: But wait*monster turns around* what?Me: I just wanted to know how you are?(have no idea why I said this, it’s pretty much all guided by HS)
At that point I felt something strange flicker through the monster’s consciousness, as if it was a long time since any one asked him that and he didn’t know how to respond. I also felt energy building up quickly in my body at this point.
Me continuing: You must be pretty lonely down here all by yourself with no one to talk to
Then that energy that was building up in my body just blasts through me and I growl as I release whatever it was I was releasing (growling tends to be normal for me when releasing stuff but this was more intense than usual).. I was knocked out of my imagination by the blast and then I start tearing up a little as I felt that loneliness that the monster had been feeling.
Then I’m just laying there like what even just happened, try to regain my senses. I wanted to go back to visit the monster to continue whatever we were talking about but as I’m about to do so I take a deep breath and all these waves of light hit me in the face and I jump up sh-t scared effectively breaking my trance. Not the first time that’s happened!
Karla wrote me in her manual that when I see those it’s actually split off parts of myself integrating back into my aura.
On top of that I’ve decided to become more of an active participant in my energy healing process. I’ve decided that no I’m not going to try and take over the process, but that I just want to help complement it. I have no need or desire to control it now. Though I still want to understand what’s happening, everything will be revealed in perfect time. I mean imagine if I found out this time last year that the reason I was puking was because I had an entity?! I wasn’t ready to know or to have it removed.
So concerning active energy work I’ve started experimenting more with thought forms. Creating shields is a basic thoughtform, though something I never realised was a thoughtform. I’m going to read up on shamanic healing for better understanding and techniques as that’s interesting me right now, but I tried cleansing my aura last night through a vortex and both felt and saw as it took on a life of its own. Afterwards I felt much lighter as before I’d started to feel bogged down again by the energy around me coming from family and next door. I’ve also been experimenting with channelling energy as well as creating ethereal replicas my crystals to use, and I have lots of cool ideas of where to go with this.
I was doing my Kundalini kriyas, something I do about two-three times a week now because I can’t always be bothered to do it every night. Anyway, it first of all started off with a series of Uddiyana Bandhas about five minutes in. I found those to be painful before when I had my entity, as the prana would just hit the entity and make me feel sick as I was trying to release it. It wasn’t able to go past it. Tonight is the first time my body has done any for me since my healing this time last week.
I noticed straight away no resistance. My stomach sucked in all the way and I just perceived emptiness. There was nothing blocking the center of the chakra. I don’t know where the prana actually goes to (I’m assuming the back of the chakra???) because I haven’t looked, it just feels empty there in the center during my sessions. Though I know there is more junk in it as it still comes up for release throughout the day and is still heavy sometimes (though I have a theory that the solar plexus might be the ‘expulsion chamber’ of negative energy from the rest of the body, since negative energy apparently usually enters that way too).
Anyway, about five minutes in I noticed the difference in these series of Bhandas. Roughly five minutes more and I noticed my legs felt heavy. Then the back of my head felt heavy. Then my back. Sometime before then I felt a reassurance from one of my guides. I realise now that I was being pre-grounded. Then I start to feel dizzy. The back of my head is picking up more energy. All the time I’m spontaneously breathing deep and fast, I notice my legs start vibrating. The vibration travels up my body.
Then I feel a cool water feeling trickling at the back of my head. The whole time I’ve been laying on the floor with my legs apart but feet together, my hands laid upon my solar plexus in some sort of position. I then feel the trickling water sensation at my sex chakra (not sacral, the one under that but above the root), and then all of a sudden what I can only describe as liquid fire starts rushing up my root, through my entire body, out through the back of my head.
At this point I don’t know whether I’m in bliss or agony, I experience Kundalini rising all the time but NEVER as strong as THAT!
Meanwhile the vibrating in my body is picking up an insane intensity. By this point I’m a live wire and if anyone touched me they would probably be electrocuted, I’m sure of it. I was vibrating like a mobile/cell phone does, all over, like my entire body was just completely in sync, RESONATING… I can’t explain, it was crazy ridiculous.
Then I start giggling, like, uncontrollably. Can’t control it, just giggling away like mad. The giggling then stops and the energy just gets so intense I feel like I’m about to pass out. My vision was fading into white and I couldn’t go on at that point. I got up and tried to get the whole thing to slow down and stop. I started having another giggling fit during that time.
Once that had passed I was just sat there on my floor shaking like one does when they experience shock. It was INSANE!
Took a while to get my bearings after that. I’m now sat with my dravite to keep me grounded.
During the whole thing I kept seeing waves of light both white and black streaming towards me, my best bet is that I just had a huge integration and healing session.
I’m wondering if all the sugary sweets I ate before had anything to do with that. But I didn’t even know the human body could vibrate like that. Felt like I was going to dematerialise into another dimension LOL!
Anyway, for some reason I always feel the Kundalini go out the back of my head which is weird. I wonder why that is. My crown is perfectly open and fine, but it never goes out that way…
I just checked out my aura and it’s a shimmery pale blue now.