I wrote a twin flame success story for my friend at Awakened Queen (you can check out her site for more success stories) and decided to copy-paste it here for others to read. It’s probably nothing new to most of my readers but gives a longer term perspective as I first wrote about my experience a couple of months after separating from my twin. This was written almost a year after separating from my twin which was also about six months after ‘reuniting’ with my twin. So it’s from a different perspective, one in which I have made sense of a lot more details. So without further ado here it is:
My twin flame journey started thirteen months ago. At this time I had just come out of an abusive family dynamic and was suffering from the effects of post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as a myriad of other mental disorders which I felt would always control my life for the worse. I had never felt what most called love and I often wondered if such a thing was even real. In my distress I tried my hardest to block it out because whenever it did find me I thought myself to be unworthy of it. But then my twin came along and showed me that true love does exist after all, although it wasn’t in the form I initially assumed it to be.
In the beginning, I clung onto him so hard. We were inseparable and everything was perfect. But then the problems started. My problems which I thought were instantly cured returned with a greater vengeance and for the first time in my life I decided that I wanted to do something about them- I wanted to work through them so I could stay together with my twin. I knew he was my twin from what I’d read online, and I wasn’t about to let such a divine connection go to waste. I was determined not end up another separation story.
Through the process I learned many things, the most important one and the one in which everything can be summed up is that I learned how to love myself. It was probably the hardest thing I had ever done. Caring for myself was such an alien thing to me. But I became good at it and after a while my connection with my inner Self became stronger and stronger until finally I was put through the final test which would change everything. My twin withdrew his love from me and for a couple of weeks I was utterly alone in the world. I had nothing left, and my world went black.
During this time I had no choice but to face my inner demons and deepest fears head on and release them. Though it was the most unpleasant experience in my life it was also the most loving thing I had ever done for myself, and I passed the test. I came out of that a completely new person. I realised that even throughout the darkness love is always there, and that we cannot ever become disconnected from love, because love is our true nature. Realising that freed me from my past and from needing the love of anyone else. I’m so grateful my twin withdrew his love for me.
It took me a while to integrate this new way of being though and I left my twin, becoming the ‘runner’ so that I could have time away from his presence, which had become claustrophobic to me. His love was full of expectation and need and that wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I wanted something purer, which I realised could only be found inside me. I left to strengthen further the connection with myself.
During this period of roughly about six months I looked deeper into my spirituality, which up to that point I had mostly ignored. I started meditating, I started reading scriptural texts and popular books from highly acclaimed authors which I felt drawn to- the most important thing I internalised from all this was letting myself dwell in the natural state of non-attachment to everything in my life, my ego self, the people around me… I was learning a living acceptance of the present moment and that happiness can only be found within, and nowhere externally. I learned I had the power over everything that happened to me in my life, and that I created my own reality. I realised that by letting go of expectations I was open for the best things to come my way, and that by not being attached to the outcome I could create something even better if my initial desire didn’t manifest itself. I learned everything was exactly the way it was meant to be, and I came to trust myself.
After these six months I was drawn again to my twin, which was a result of him giving up on me and expanding more fully the love within himself. At this point I had temporarily become the chaser, but I felt this was necessary to resolve my earlier sudden disappearance with him. Once that was done the runner/chaser dynamic stopped, and we are now friends, neither pushing nor pulling, just being present with each other. There are no expectations, no demands, no fight or flight reactions, just a transcendent love which is not dependent on the other for its existence. It’s self-sustaining and pure. I do not fear anymore being alone, because I have my own love, and when I realised that, I realised I never really was alone. My love is the love of the Universe and of every living being in existence. I am truly loved, and I can truly love. I am love itself; I am the love that loves me.
And that was the most important thing I learned. That love isn’t something shared, it’s our fundamental nature. We are never separated, ever. And when I realised that, I became truly free.