Reiki Gone Wrong

I decided to request my hands to do reiki on my mother when she came down with back pain. My hands decided it was a good idea. (WHY?!?!) It was a terrible idea. I don’t really know much about reiki, I was mostly just trusting my intuition to guide me. In retrospect perhaps relying solely on intuition is bad for my physical body, especially at this point in my life. Before trying to do reiki again I will research it heavily. IF I ever decide to try it again. Perhaps it’s something best left to be tried after enlightenment after the Kundalini process has finished.

I’m not quite sure what happened, honestly, but I have a couple of ideas. But first I should probably explain what transpired:

My hands placed themselves on my mother’s head. They stayed there for a while, before moving one to her stomach and another to her back. At first what started out as tingling in my left hand became a heavy weight that felt like led bricks inside my entire arm. Although the reiki was extremely! effective on my mother, after half an hour I couldn’t take anymore and rushed outside into the grass and let out some screams. The next 24 hours consisted of insistent automatic yoga positions, shaking, spinning, screaming, crying, and vomiting. It was more intense than when I had my healing deliverance last month.
Today I am feeling better. I haven’t vomited in over 24 hours and my automatic hatha yoga positions have changed into slow spinning usually counter-clockwise to begin with and clockwise to end with. Counter-clockwise tends to make me feel quite ill, but clockwise makes me feel better again. I wonder if this is to do with the spinning of the chakras and/or the aura?
Accompanied with the spinning are hand movements in the air, which sort of feel like my hands are tracing energy pathways within my aura and clearing it out and sending into my stomach to be ‘released’. Sometimes they get stuck in a certain positions and I have more emotional release. My fingers also tend to trace energy pathways on my skin. Today after my fingers traced themselves around my skull many times, they traced up and down my sushumna a number of times, right from the top of the skull down to the perineum and back up again. A number times they stopped at certain chakras, mostly my Anahata and Vishuddha. It appeared that they were administering more self-reiki, something which has increased an awful lot, which I find interesting all things considered. Also my hands would curl into fists and tap me at certain places. Sometimes they tapped the air and the floor too, which was weird. I have no idea what that’s about.
So I feel like something has shifted within me yet again, because none of this happened before I tried reiki on my mother. It feels like instead of needing to do physical exercises to clear out my energy pathways, my system is now powerful enough to directly clear itself out? If that is the case then I think that’s pretty cool. It shows how much stronger and clearer it is now.
As for doing reiki on my mother, I did initially think that I had accidentally absorbed her negative energy, but it doesn’t really feel that way anymore. Also as I had written in my previous post, I felt ill before that due to the walking meditation I did the night before. I am thinking that although reiki itself is usually considered a gentle force, because reiki was perhaps going through me completely to get to my mother rather than going at certain points directly in my body, and because I’m already going through energetic upheavals with Kundalini, I might be more susceptible to being badly effected by light energy trying to clear out my system. As anyone going through Kundalini knows, too much energy work can tend to have disastrous consequences. This theory makes more sense to me, also because I don’t understand how all that negative energy could’ve transferred to me in just half an hour? I know that now I’m quite strong energetically compared to the average person (I just found out I have the ability to do light telekinesis!) and so perhaps it’s a possibility, but it doesn’t feel right.
If anyone reading this has any insight on what could’ve happened I would be grateful if you could drop me a message. I would like to think that it was my own energy I was clearing out, because although I wouldn’t regret it if it was my mother’s energy, I would feel disappointed at being ‘setback’, so to speak. So perhaps my theory is biased for this.
One thing that I have noticed throughout all this, is that I never felt fear, or anxiety, not even once. It feels like all perceivable fear has gone. I believe this is heavily related to this major emotional release. Although I might probably still have unconscious fear somewhere, wherever I look it seems to have just disappeared. Also in relation to my last healing deliverance, I had just begun to notice its effects on me: my ability to be social has increased tenfold and I am much more natural at it. I have less anxiety when interacting with other people. I even found myself dancing in the supermarket the other day in front of all the shoppers there! Something that would previously have been WAY outside my comfort zone. So perhaps yesterdays emotional release comes from the same place. Time will only tell.

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